i'm cranky and have a cold
Winter is tough for me, man. I seriously have the most difficult time with it. This is due in part to the fact that I have lizard blood, so when the temperature is cold, my whole body is painfully cold along with it, the frigidity cutting right to the bone like an icy Ginsu being demonstrated by Frosty the Snowman. Even sunning myself on a rock loses its effectiveness when the harsh Chicagoland winds whip through my scaly layers. On the plus side, though, I'm fantastic at slurping up crickets. And the darkness--how great is that darkness! When I say "great", I'm not, like, "yay, great!". Great in this sense means grand, large, overwhelming, etc etc etc. I don't think I had to explain that, but the darkness made me feel like I did. How is anyone expected to stay mentally awake in the winter when most of the day consists of night? Everything wrong right now is the fault of the darkness. "But in the winter you get to bundle up!" offer many of ...
